Boo-tiful Laugher Gifts

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

Pie chart of pub conversations

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

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'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

Minority Report Is Real

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'I'll keep my remarks brief.'

'...And zap him quick, before that bleeding-heart Governor gets back from vacation.'

"Wait!"

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

Decision on the flip of a coin...

"Boy, I get booed everytime I perform here."

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

"I don't care how it's pronounced, I want it."

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

'I love my obstetrician! He brings out the kid in me!'

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

"I take it the defense rests."

'ARRGH! Run for it lady!' 'A swarm of Bs!!' A guy running away from a swarm of the actual letter B

The Gingerbread Man's cousin, the hash cookie man.

"I did follow my bliss. It wandered around in circles and then ended up at an Arby's in Hoboken."

"We have testimony that you walk like a duck and you quack like a duck. Tell the court - are you a duck?"

Old Mother Hubbard, Went to the Cupboard...'Now what did I come here for?'

'We're a little overcrowded in here, boys- pick a number between one and one hundred.'

'What's for lunch...Vegetables?'

'Who's there?'

"How am I supposed to guide the sleigh with this mask on?"

"You're the only one I know stilling calling people 'Uber' this and 'Uber' that."

Q. U. E.. F. The only time I know when they've been apart is when he was in "Iraq."