Boo-tiful Comedy Gifts

"Boy, I get booed everytime I perform here."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

"I've got something to tell you,Dad-I don't like fish...I mean I REALLY don't like fish...I HATE fish,Dad-there,I've said it now."

"Fuhgettaboutit, Charley. Ya been fixed."

"It's garage music."

"No, I thought YOU put the picnic basket in the car."

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

Uprooted

'You will meet a tall, dark and handsome man. He will play forward on the pro-basketball team you've just bought!'

'Daddy doesn't know why birds migrate. Ask me about ways to avoid probate.'

"You see, I told you it was worth the climb! Your first 'bird's eye view'. . ."

"Mum, stop it, this isn't reality T.V.!" "Shh or I'll vote you out."

'Good Now stuff that round thing in the hoop,,,, That's basketball,'

Raking bad.

Walk the dog.

'My name's Jeffrey. Will you be my Valentine?'

'Hopkins!' Guard is shouted at after falling asleep between the breasts of a statue.

'He's the laziest dog I've ever seen.'

'I found out what's troubling me!'

Clown's baby has huge feet.

"The starfish doesn't want to stay on top of our Christmas tree!"

Chicken CSI.

"I want you to cut down on the salt lick!"

Small-Batch Banking

Bear Necessities - "Cigarettes, beer and 400 rainbow trout."

Maude had warned the Cat not to lick itself so much.

"I've been sentenced to christen a ship."

Cattle Grid

"Do you hear what I hear?" "Fweeet!"

Home Alone.

'If you say 'your moove' one more time, I'm taking my chess set and going.'