Boo-tiful Comedy Gifts

"Boy, I get booed everytime I perform here."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

"I've got something to tell you,Dad-I don't like fish...I mean I REALLY don't like fish...I HATE fish,Dad-there,I've said it now."

"Fuhgettaboutit, Charley. Ya been fixed."

"It's garage music."

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

"No, I thought YOU put the picnic basket in the car."

'You will meet a tall, dark and handsome man. He will play forward on the pro-basketball team you've just bought!'

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

Uprooted

'Daddy doesn't know why birds migrate. Ask me about ways to avoid probate.'

"You see, I told you it was worth the climb! Your first 'bird's eye view'. . ."

'Good Now stuff that round thing in the hoop,,,, That's basketball,'

"Mum, stop it, this isn't reality T.V.!" "Shh or I'll vote you out."

Raking bad.

'My name's Jeffrey. Will you be my Valentine?'

Walk the dog.

'He's the laziest dog I've ever seen.'

'Hopkins!' Guard is shouted at after falling asleep between the breasts of a statue.

'I found out what's troubling me!'

"The starfish doesn't want to stay on top of our Christmas tree!"

Chicken CSI.

Clown's baby has huge feet.

"I want you to cut down on the salt lick!"

Small-Batch Banking

Bear Necessities - "Cigarettes, beer and 400 rainbow trout."

Maude had warned the Cat not to lick itself so much.

"I've been sentenced to christen a ship."

"Do you hear what I hear?" "Fweeet!"

Cattle Grid

Home Alone.