Bond Whisperer Gifts

'Why do you keep wasting your money on this rubbish?'

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

Opening the door to new customers

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

'One thing about being in the drivers seat -- you pay for the gas.'

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

"Yow! Thank goodness you've kept costs on a short leash!"

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

'Your 11:15 is here, to ratify the new agreement.'

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

"Raising the debt ceiling is a ponzi scheme!"

'As a rationalization specialist I actually have a concept to cut our deficit quickly and effectively - Just do a head stand'!

"If we were a business - rather than a government - we'd be bankrupt!"

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

"You're just in time for our 'post Christmas, pre Autumn alternate Tuesday in August late season Sale!'"

'I see you have a stock market/body connection.'

Ukraine War Clouds

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

"You say there's a dip in the market?"

How to do without

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

"I can't keep giving you stock tips. The SEC has been making 'insider trading' inquiries."

'I'm trading futures in green sheets.'

'A few rules for new investors: First never say 'kaching' until the market is up...'

'I notice you're downsizing.'

One day, John found out that not only he could understand animals but his money, too.

'75% of our resources are spent dealing with the elderly and infirm...and that's just the STAFF!'

"Retail shares just went up ten percent. My wife must have gone shopping this morning!"

"The Good news is that we cut a few corners, used clipart and brought the campaign in under budget!"

-Yipee! He's well out in front! -You do realize they're only going down to the start!

'I doubled my money! The bank dude gave me 20 50-cent-coins for lousy ten one-euro-coins!'

Stock Market Decline