Investment Whisperer Gifts

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

'A few rules for new investors: First never say 'kaching' until the market is up...'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

You can breed these if the environment is right.

Opening the door to new customers

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

'Need I tell you the name of the game?'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"I'm allergic to money. But luckily they've got antihistamines for that."

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"If you really must know, Junior, yes, you were a market correction."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"Money is life's report card."

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

'For the economy to improve we're counting on a 'trickle down' from the super-wealthy to the wealthy.'

"Want to trade banks with me?"

"I've found that when money starts talking, you can't shut 'er up!"

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

'It's the first dollar earned and the only one, I might say, that hasn't been working for me!'

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'