Bank Whisperer Gifts

Thank you for being so kind and approving my loan application. How can I ever repay you?'

Two shoe shiners discussing finances

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

Rising Gas Prices

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

'One thing about being in the drivers seat -- you pay for the gas.'

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

"Yow! Thank goodness you've kept costs on a short leash!"

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

"Raising the debt ceiling is a ponzi scheme!"

"If we were a business - rather than a government - we'd be bankrupt!"

'As a rationalization specialist I actually have a concept to cut our deficit quickly and effectively - Just do a head stand'!

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

'We're projecting a profit, but not within our lifetimes.'

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

"You say there's a dip in the market?"

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

'I see you have a stock market/body connection.'

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

How to do without

'Are you hiding something from me?'

Ukraine War Clouds

This is Mr Smith from Big Data Mining. He says he's found an insight.

'Excellent! Our tests confirm that the average shareholder falls asleep by page 9 of the 10-K. Place the notice of the IRS audit on page 10.'