Body Conscious Pillows

Two men, one with his abdomen outside his trousers, the other with it inside. 'The Tummy Tuck.'

Secretive Weigh In.

wattle covers

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

Running

Wash your hands

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

"Does this dress make my butt look big?"

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

Increase Your Height.

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

"You're really serious about that diet!"

'If you want them balanced, it'll be an extra 250 dollars.'

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

'Well, of course you're having an identity crisis - your T-shirt has no logo.'

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'

'I'd say it's pre-liposuction.'

"We're seeing a lot of Selfie Face Syndrome lately."

"Was that the crack of dawn, Arthur, or your back?"

'You fell that there is a thin person inside trying to get out? Sure it's only one?'

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."