Body Awareness Advocate Pillows

'Navel'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

Critisize your weight.

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"This isn't helping my migraine."

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

Aging Problems

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

Fat fairy

Scales

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

Girl's weight issues.

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.