Body Awareness Advocate Pillows

'Navel'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

Critisize your weight.

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"This isn't helping my migraine."

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

Aging Problems

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Scales

Girl's weight issues.

Fat fairy

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."