Body Bag Fan Gifts

Morgue Waiting Room.

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

'I found him on the internet.'

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

King of Music.

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

Hairstyles

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

Chuck played mean hair guitar.

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

"You must be new around here, pardner."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Antiques

"Isaias has made landfall, bars, beaches, tattoo parlors and schools will all be open."

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

Shoe Whore

"Oh, no, not the messy hair bun!"

'It's more like a very good used you.'

An man with an axe removes tattoos.

181 yeard old, huh? This is the worst fake I.D. I've ever seen. And that beard! Ha! Nice try, Mr.... Uhh... 'Van Winkle.'

His movember moustache made him feel very distinguished.

"That's great for the right foot, now let's look for the left."

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

"We're expecting quite a litter this time."

You can tell a lot about a man by his shoes....

'She's had so much plastic surgery that her body has rejected her credit cards!'

Plank

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

Pilates Creative Stretching Program.

"Sorry, where did you say you were from again?"