Boastful Boatman Gifts

'It's the newest thing out in a measuring stick.'

Man to other about fish on wall: Heh - I use that size fish for bait!'

Lady to angler whose line is snagged: 'You would manage to get your line caught in the one tree in this entire massive lake.'

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

"We live in the desert. What did you think I meant when I said it'd be a nice day to go boating?"

Brighton boatman offering the hire of a pleasure boat on a very cold day

The controversy of ROW VS WAIT: 'Row, to find fish!'

'I am smiling.'

Many clowns in rowboat

"Bloody GPS-plotter is going silly again!"

"We didn't know you had a rush hour."

'I think you are taking this Boatswain's mate thing a bit too seriously sailor!'

The velcro ties were in place. The lobstermen would have no idea what hit them.'

"Your sailing skills are improving but you need more work on the 'drop anchor' part."

'And that's only the size of the fly.'

Fart propelled speedboat.

'I still have all my own teeth but my head is false.'

'Wait a second. Since when did they start making life jackets out of burlap?'

The Incomplete Angler

Clear Lake.

Mothers. . . have no shame.

101 uses of a dead cat: floatation devices.

"Tonight: date with an angel: gonna meet her at seven: be on my way to heaven. Get the picture, Bob?"

Liar's Club fish

Emergency Sails.

'It's never been in the water. He just drives it around to show off!'

"I've been sentenced to christen a ship."

'He's getting seasick again! This is the last time Joey gets to go boating.'

"I like to hold hands at the movies, which always seems to annoy strangers."

'I did not say there was water in the motor.I said the motor was in the water.'

"Have you ever thought about climbing the highest mountain?"

"I treated myself to a barge pole. I thought I'd push the boat out."