Boardroom Cupid Gifts

'I didn't know he was also into corporate mergers!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

Acme Toys Ltd

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson of the Board. One of you will be President.'

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

Pete was too shy to tell Jenny how he really felt about her instead he just sent flowers over the internet.

Our parent company is not pleased with our work. They want all of us to register for a few remedial MBA courses.

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

'At that point the meeting became chaotic, as everyone's medication seemed to wear off at the same time.'

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Drop dead. Well that's good start to our negotiations.'

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'

'We were able to make a quick alliance together because of common insecurities.'

'Now, at first glance, this may LOOK like a challenge.'

The company lawyer's self-image vs the boss's self-image.

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."