Boardroom Bookworm Gifts

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

'We're a democracy here, as long as everyone votes in favour of what I want!'

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

"Effective leadership is more than just telling everybody to be like you!"

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

"John and Sidney work in human relations."

"Are you sending emails or ZZZ mails?"

'At that point the meeting became chaotic, as everyone's medication seemed to wear off at the same time.'

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

Our parent company is not pleased with our work. They want all of us to register for a few remedial MBA courses.

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Drop dead. Well that's good start to our negotiations.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

'I want to thank you for your spontaneous and overwhelming support...'

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'