Blunder Observer Pillows

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

Scenic Root: ants, bugs and worms using an exposed tree root as a scenic route.

Tiny Visions

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

Sword Swallow is Bitten by a Mosquito.

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

'See that ant, Norm - He is in a world of his own, completely unaware that he is being watched.'

Fortunes. Tarot. Palms. You punched the fortune teller just because he was smiling? I always wanted to strike a happy medium.

Bizarre sights.

'I just faxed my tie to our Des Moines office.'

'Let's arbitrate.'

'Pardon me. Can you tell me where 9 West 57th is?'

"It might be a better trick if you didn't use see-through glass"

"Being a 'fly on the wall' is way overrated."

Mixing Business and Pleasure

Minimalism exhibition...

Man blowing glass. His dentures have fallen out and are in the glass bubble.

Gardener to husband as giant insects approach, 'Your prediction that nature will retaliate for our environmental misuse of pesticides strains credulity, Ralph.'

'Yeah, neighborhood crime. That's what I watch all the time 'cause our TV is broken.'

'Great! There's no rain forecast for today: It's safe to go out...'

See no evil, hear no evil & speak no evil.

"Okay, your story checks out. You're not a Peeping Tom, you're just a creepy real estate appraiser."

"Look. Jesus healed my severed leg."

'Ok...I was wrong. Things can get worse.'

'I hope it's a quick knockout, I'm double parked.'

Sunrise.

"We're not as annoying up here. Let's go back down to the lamp by the reading chair."

Tarot Lying

'Think' Sign (nail facing wrong way)

The best place for a dartboard is not beside an open window.