Blue Screen Battler Gifts

The Boundless Blue Screen of Death

'That which does not kill me, make me stronger.'

Pop Culture for Teens

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Jackson Pollock's 'Computer Splatter.'

'Word has it that you have an ulcer, Tomkins. Nice going! You'll find an extra 20 bucks in your paycheck.'

Out of Focus Group

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

"For all the years I've worked here you've had it in for me...so will you get off my case."

Heat and Food Poisoning

'I worry that Henderson's becoming too well entrenched.'

"He's very disciplined about his writing. Three hours staring at a blank screen every morning and four in the afternoon!"

A sleeping couple

Directions for walker across several hills.

"We have way too much micro-managing around here."

"Don't worry. . . they will find us. . . we're still in the backyard. . . I just didn't cut the grass. . ."

'You know sooner or later they'll notice you've replaced your monitor with a portable TV.'

'It wouldn't work out Evan. I'm Microsoft Internet Explorer, and you're Google Web Browser.'

Toy soldiers - War on drugs, War on binge drinking, Combat obesity, etc.

"Well, looks like it's time for eyeglasses."

"You look sufficiently armoured for this afternoon's meeting."

The future of warfare.

"I'm not kidding, Phil! You really ARE the poster child for middle-aged, disillusioned and down-hearted businessmen everywhere!"

'It's one of those days when point and click feels more like drag and drop.'

The planned obsolescence blues

'I'm going to have to rethink that 'knowledge is power' theory.'

Milton applies for a job as a video game tester.

"Can you give me about 5 minutes? I'm about to beat this level!"

Blank Books, Blank Screenplays

Internot - No broadband in your area.

"Off to start your own company in the same business as ours...no, we don't mind at all."

Human Error, Stupid (computers)