Blind Dating Pillows

I've lied to you...I don't really look like Angelina Jolie...in fact, I'm a short dumpy cross dresser. Close enough!

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

"I work as a male model and have a great imagination."

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

"Wow! This was sure one heck of a blind date!"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Your profile said you were a dog."

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

"A high forhead can often be a sign that they've stolen a really big brain."

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"To be honest, I'm a little surprised the dating service matched us up."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"I've always been attracted to small architectural details."

"I guess I misunderstood when you said you were a 'fan dancer.'"

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

Gee, this is my lucky night. You see, when it comes to women, I'm not a leg man; I'm not a breast man; I'm a punctuation man. ! !

Tunnel of lurve

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Your profile says you're a lumberjack, I though they were all big buggers."

"So tell me again where you're from."

'Yes, I did agree to a double date. However, taking two women out at the same time isn't what I expected!'

Are you sure that's not your age?

'You must be Olivia.'

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'How are Rod and Cindy getting on?' 'Like a house on fire!'

Blind date with girl with elephant trunk for nose

"Boys meet the girls. Girls meet the boys. . ."