Blind Dating Adventurer Pillows

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

The perfect man

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"Your profile said that you liked long walks on the beach."

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"I thought on your profile it said you were into 'BIKING'."

Russian Dating.

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"She said don't forget the straw."

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

Mate Mart

"A high forhead can often be a sign that they've stolen a really big brain."

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"Is that 'good reptilian' or 'bad reptilian'?"

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

Borrow the Bag?

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

'My mother always told me if it ain't broke, date it.'

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.