Blind Dating Adventurer Pillows

Things you don't want to hear on a blind date.

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

The perfect man

"Your profile said that you liked long walks on the beach."

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Your profile said you were a dog."

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

"She said don't forget the straw."

Russian Dating.

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

"A high forhead can often be a sign that they've stolen a really big brain."

"I thought on your profile it said you were into 'BIKING'."

Mate Mart

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

"That's the worst pickup line I've ever heard!"

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

"Is that 'good reptilian' or 'bad reptilian'?"

Borrow the Bag?

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

Well, I didn't know he was a dragon when I met him online!