Blind Date Pillows

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'I think Frank and I will get on really well - apparently he loves shoes too!'

'Hey, what is this? You said tall, dark and handsome!'

"Yours is the one with the hearing aid."

Only thing she hated more than small talk was really, really small talk.

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Gary's going out with a right tasty bit of skirt."

"This is definately the last time I arrange a date over the internet..."

'But you told me to bring a friend!'

I'm waiting near the 168th column...

'This is the last time I let my friends set me up.'

I need to lose weight, and fast...my date's here in 20 minutes.

'What the?! She is a stick!'

Enough About Me...

'A babe magnet? Shouldn't that be a fridge magnet?!'

Look, I'm not shocked. It's just that you sounded a bit different on the phone!

' Your personal ad didn't say anything about you being a Marxist...'

'Hello? Help me out here. Would it kill you to show a little interest?'

'Bernie said he would bring his best friend for you.'

'Yes, I did agree to a double date. However, taking two women out at the same time isn't what I expected!'

'I think it is damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

'I guess what I'm basically looking for is a man who can pump as much iron as I do.'

Despite wanting to date a man who was 'young at heart', Beryl couldn't help but feel a little disappointed with her blind date.

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

"I've never dated a yam before, tell me a bit about yourself."

"I may not be the sexiest catch, but I sure can get you access the road safely."

"Wow! This was sure one heck of a blind date!"

"My mates at the showroom said that I should start dating again."

"Let's get some air."

Coffee Date

"...Now they're playing tape number 7710K. It starts with Johnny Mathis hits arranged for strings and woodwind, then goes on to Mister Henry Mancini. After that..."

"Hey! Not only do I bring a friend, as you asked! I brought my best friend!"

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."