Blind Date Pillows

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'I think Frank and I will get on really well - apparently he loves shoes too!'

'Hey, what is this? You said tall, dark and handsome!'

"Yours is the one with the hearing aid."

Only thing she hated more than small talk was really, really small talk.

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

Look, I'm not shocked. It's just that you sounded a bit different on the phone!

"This is definately the last time I arrange a date over the internet..."

'But you told me to bring a friend!'

"Ok, so I lied about my aga!"

I'm waiting near the 168th column...

'This is the last time I let my friends set me up.'

'A babe magnet? Shouldn't that be a fridge magnet?!'

Enough About Me...

'What the?! She is a stick!'

I need to lose weight, and fast...my date's here in 20 minutes.

"Gary's going out with a right tasty bit of skirt."

' Your personal ad didn't say anything about you being a Marxist...'

"I've never dated a yam before, tell me a bit about yourself."

"Wow! This was sure one heck of a blind date!"

"...Now they're playing tape number 7710K. It starts with Johnny Mathis hits arranged for strings and woodwind, then goes on to Mister Henry Mancini. After that..."

"Hey! Not only do I bring a friend, as you asked! I brought my best friend!"

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

"... But, you said on your dating profile that you preferred the 'outdoor type'."

Man hiding from a woman at a dating service.

Coffee Date

'Bernie said he would bring his best friend for you.'

Despite wanting to date a man who was 'young at heart', Beryl couldn't help but feel a little disappointed with her blind date.

'Hello? Help me out here. Would it kill you to show a little interest?'

'I guess what I'm basically looking for is a man who can pump as much iron as I do.'

'How was your blind date?' 'She looked like Cameron Diaz.' 'Really?' 'As she appeared in Shrek 2.'

'I think it is damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

'Yes, I did agree to a double date. However, taking two women out at the same time isn't what I expected!'