Blind Dating Gifts

I've lied to you...I don't really look like Angelina Jolie...in fact, I'm a short dumpy cross dresser. Close enough!

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

"I work as a male model and have a great imagination."

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

"Wow! This was sure one heck of a blind date!"

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

"A high forhead can often be a sign that they've stolen a really big brain."

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"To be honest, I'm a little surprised the dating service matched us up."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

"I guess I misunderstood when you said you were a 'fan dancer.'"

Tunnel of lurve

"I've always been attracted to small architectural details."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"...Now they're playing tape number 7710K. It starts with Johnny Mathis hits arranged for strings and woodwind, then goes on to Mister Henry Mancini. After that..."

"Boys meet the girls. Girls meet the boys. . ."

'Yes, I did agree to a double date. However, taking two women out at the same time isn't what I expected!'

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"So tell me again where you're from."

Are you sure that's not your age?

'How are Rod and Cindy getting on?' 'Like a house on fire!'

Dan, Carla's interests include brooding over failed relationships and fending off her mother's pleas for grandchildren. Carla, Dan is terrified of commitment and has a negative bank balance."

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

Blind date with girl with elephant trunk for nose

"Your profile says you're a lumberjack, I though they were all big buggers."