Blind Date Skeptic Gifts

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Wow! This was sure one heck of a blind date!"

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Your profile said you were a dog."

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

"A high forhead can often be a sign that they've stolen a really big brain."

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"To be honest, I'm a little surprised the dating service matched us up."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"I guess I misunderstood when you said you were a 'fan dancer.'"

"I've always been attracted to small architectural details."

Gee, this is my lucky night. You see, when it comes to women, I'm not a leg man; I'm not a breast man; I'm a punctuation man. ! !

Tunnel of lurve

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Boys meet the girls. Girls meet the boys. . ."

'You must be Olivia.'

"My mom set up this blind date, but then again, her favorite TV show is 'Beauty and the Beast'."

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

'Yes, I did agree to a double date. However, taking two women out at the same time isn't what I expected!'

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"So tell me again where you're from."

Are you sure that's not your age?

Blind date with girl with elephant trunk for nose

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

'How are Rod and Cindy getting on?' 'Like a house on fire!'

Despite wanting to date a man who was 'young at heart', Beryl couldn't help but feel a little disappointed with her blind date.

"Your profile says you're a lumberjack, I though they were all big buggers."

"...Now they're playing tape number 7710K. It starts with Johnny Mathis hits arranged for strings and woodwind, then goes on to Mister Henry Mancini. After that..."