Blender Whiz Gifts

'Reach what?'

Nerd tryouts.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

Math Teacher

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Free Printer with Purchase of Ink

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

Oh you smoothie

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

1080P New Year's Resolution

Gracie invents a smart spray from her science kit.

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

The Connoisseur.

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

After years of searching, the gingerbread man is finally reunited with his biological parents

'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'

'All your wines are so old. Don't you have any that are fresh?'

"Oh, don't jump. But at least learn to code."

'... Can Willis come out and calculate formulae?'

'Norman's building a small Hadron Collider.'

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

'Excellent Hoskins, you've got all the right numbers, now shall we see if you can put them in the right order?'

"Your orders are burning up the system. I love it!"

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

'This damn ??,' - 'So that's computer language,'

'Well you know what they say 'here today gone tomorrow' or in the case of dotcoms, 'here today gone shortly after lunch.'

"The standard model accounts for the 12 known particles of matter that interact via the strong, weak and electromagnetic fundamental forces. Okay, smart girl, do you understand that?"

"I crunched the numbers and now they're so smooshed up I can't read them."

"The last one to The Four Seasons picks up the check."

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup -- we were getting too many libel suits.'

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"

Publication Day for Johnson's Dictionary