Paint Whiz Gifts

Colour Blind

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Multi-tasking.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

'My dog ate my computer.'

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

"I love the fact that you're a computer genius, Erwin. I just don't like fact that you look like one."

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

"What's that you're reading?"

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

I've always been slower than computers...

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

Free Printer with Purchase of Ink

"A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer."

'Hey, everyone! Guess who forgot his password?'

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

Kevin had a computer virus.

"They found a defect in the new chip. Looks like someone was asleep at the itty-bitty, teeny-weeny switch."

Cool 3-D screen.

'That guy believes in time travel. He said he'd knock me into next week.'