Blender Whiz Pillows

'Reach what?'

Nerd tryouts.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

Math Teacher

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Free Printer with Purchase of Ink

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

Oh you smoothie

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

1080P New Year's Resolution

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

The Connoisseur.

Gracie invents a smart spray from her science kit.

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

After years of searching, the gingerbread man is finally reunited with his biological parents

"Your orders are burning up the system. I love it!"

'... Can Willis come out and calculate formulae?'

'All your wines are so old. Don't you have any that are fresh?'

'Norman's building a small Hadron Collider.'

"Oh, don't jump. But at least learn to code."

'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'

'Excellent Hoskins, you've got all the right numbers, now shall we see if you can put them in the right order?'

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

'This damn ??,' - 'So that's computer language,'

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

'Well you know what they say 'here today gone tomorrow' or in the case of dotcoms, 'here today gone shortly after lunch.'

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"

"The last one to The Four Seasons picks up the check."

"I crunched the numbers and now they're so smooshed up I can't read them."

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup -- we were getting too many libel suits.'

Publication Day for Johnson's Dictionary