Blank Page Aficionado Gifts

"Jeremy writes what he knows. His specialty is blank books."

Introducing...Anagraman.

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

"That's just the end of the panel, girl."

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

'That was quite a snow storm last night.'

"The night raid on the kitchen bench was a disaster sir! The owner woke up, came downstairs for a glass of water and attacked us!"

Bibliomaniac

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

"No offense, but I'm eternally grateful to know that you stand no chance of ever passing on your genes."

Noah's Ark leaves pair of unicorns behind

Batman - Face ID

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'

Spring Cleaning

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

"It's just until he gets over his laryngitis."

'I hate playing stinkbugs! Every time we press them on defense, they just let 'e rip!'

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

'Now then, let me explain the rules of this therapy.'

'He's been working on 'Seven Days to Change Your Life' for 8 years and he's only reached Tuesday.'

"Now that I'm getting older it takes more than a single bound to leap a tall building."

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

Future Candidates For "Colorization"

"I don't get it. We use condoms!"

He's very disciplined about his writing, three hours staring at a blank screen every morning and five in the afternoon.

'I have a big inferiority complex. I don't have a website.'

A Random Survey: How do you deal with the U.N. report on climate change that forecasts a planetary living hell by as early as 2040?

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

"Hmmm. . . Nope, never seen the guy."

Star-Spangled Danner Episode 9

'Hey! Put me back in the water,it's cold up here.'

The server is great – Every time I try to leave her a tip, she puts it back in my bowl.