Blackjack Lover Pillows

'I'm not sure, but I think illegal gambling is when you WIN.'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

'How about a game of cards?'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

Dog in casino.

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Slug roulette

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

Destination casinos...

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

'Elaine, take a ditty.'

Tonto Casino.

Visit Las Vegas! The city that never sleeps' ot even takes a nap!: 'Because of competition, they had to raise the ante!'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

Blackjack: free lemonade!

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

Supply was out of harps.

"Dude, I figured out why your solos sound so bad - that thing's actually a bass."

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

"Oh boy! I've won the- "