Blackjack Lover T-Shirts

'I'm not sure, but I think illegal gambling is when you WIN.'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

'How about a game of cards?'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

Dog in casino.

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Slug roulette

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

Destination casinos...

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

Tonto Casino.

'Elaine, take a ditty.'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

Blackjack: free lemonade!

Visit Las Vegas! The city that never sleeps' ot even takes a nap!: 'Because of competition, they had to raise the ante!'

Supply was out of harps.

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

"Dude, I figured out why your solos sound so bad - that thing's actually a bass."

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."