Blackjack Pillows

Hit me.

'Sir, would you please come with us?'

'... Geez! This guy's got the poker face from hell.'

'Do you have a backup plan?'

'How about a game of cards?'

'Say, isn't that our financial planner dealing blackjack over there?'

"I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave sir. The management suspects you of counting cards."

"I can't even deal."

'I'm not sure, but I think illegal gambling is when you WIN.'

Destination casinos...

The Casino-Dealer

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

'Yeah, just like the ad said - they have more blackjack tables than any other casino.'

'You should take one -- you could only improve your hand.'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'Of course I have your loyalty card - Can you tell me which one it is?'

'Shh...I'm counting cards. I think there's 52.'

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

'How about a game of cards?'

'Tell this joker he better not be holding a queen, or Ill wipe that smile right off his face.'

'What do you mean I'm maxed out? I demand more chips! Let me speak to your supervisor!'

'Help! Blew all my casino Blackjack winnings by gambling them on wall street!'

Jack of all trades

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Dogs and their thoughts

Little league world series of poker.

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!