Blackjack Dealer Gifts

'Sir, would you please come with us?'

"I can't even deal."

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'How about a game of cards?'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'I don't like to take chances.'

Dog in casino.

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

'Once again, I fold.'

Destination casinos...

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

Doctor's poker.

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

Blackjack: free lemonade!

'Nothing really happened in Vegas, but my money stayed there.'

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

'You should take one -- you could only improve your hand.'

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

'I detect you scanning my cards!'

"Lights...Camera...No Action...The Flaw in 'Celebrity Solitaire'"

'I'm all in.'

"This fundamentally changes everything we know about elephants!"