Blackboard Wizard Gifts

'This isn't a BREAKTHROUGH, Colbert! This is a CIRCULAR REASONING! All you've done here is re-state our original objective.'

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of article Q in the formula quite clearly states ... '

'Yes, Winklestein, that is a very nice drawing of a little cat.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

Piano Recital

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

'My name is Jeremy and I approved this message.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

But under a different accounting convention ...

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

As a matter of fact, it IS rocket science.

'And that's with massaging the numbers!'

'So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the financial report is approved.'

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

'Good news! It looks as though the $50 million loss we expected to show is going to be a $30 million profit. You know, we should have hired a government accountant as our chief financial officer years ago.'

Computer Music

Sales

business

'It's a foolproof formula for writing grant applications.'

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

Back in a snap (chiropractor).

A Meeting of Computer Buffs.

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'

'Very impressive, Newcombe. Over at Liberal Arts we still have trouble with the multiplication table.'