Blackboard Artist Gifts

'It's a foolproof formula for writing grant applications.'

'...Therefore, we're in complete compliance with all federal guidelines.'

As a matter of fact, it IS rocket science.

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

'Today's Math lesson is...hey, who wrote junk on my Math board?'

'Oh that?... It has nothing to do with the formula; it just makes the whole thing seem less grumpy.'

'Chalk is so retro. Why haven't you upgraded to an interactive electronic whiteboard?'

Lady cleaning hypothesis off blackboard.

"Alright, if Outlaw A is 6 foot 2, 220 punds and Outlaw B is 6 foot 4, 245 pounds, is Town C in fact big enough for the both of em?"

"At this point the short attention spans drop out."

'No.'

"...algebea is about figures, and right now, I figures I'll be seeing y'all next year."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'Very impressive, Newcombe. Over at Liberal Arts we still have trouble with the multiplication table.'

"There'll be trouble when the Chalkface hear the news - we've run out of chalk!"

"That's the finest vacuum cleaner you've ever designed."

'Public spirited mathematician comes to work every weekend to do some pro bono equations'

Insult + injury = 'I hate story problems!'

"Edward, I thought you said you wouldn't bring home your problems form work anymore."

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

Make your resolutions achievable.

When Cells Divide

'My name is Jeremy and I approved this message.'

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

"Now that I've made that perfectly clear..."

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Tax.'

The History Teacher

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'