Black Clothing Enthusiast Gifts

"When I first met Ted he always wore black so I assumed he was an artist. He was a priest."

"Hey! Black really is slimming."

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

"That shirt is so last year."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

The Mummy's Purse...

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

"Look, I can still fit into the suit I wore during the last paradigm shift."

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

Swan in a trenchcoat.

It's a see through nightie...that magnifies!

"Fifty quid for a high visibility jacket? Why, that's day-glo robbery."

The Grim Rapper

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

'Like us, the Hula Hoop will never go out of style.'

'How about this for the masked ball?'

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

"Goodbye, Kevin. I could look the other way with the boozing and the skirt-chasing, but I did not sign up for bicycle clothes."

Boxers vs. Briefs

"I agree, it is important to look good, but wearing high heels during a workout may be a little counter productive."

Wearing all black

"Why does your men's clothing store need a loan?" "During the pandemic sales of pants have dropped way off."

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

"Tammy's Style Shop went on a selling spree."

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

'Is this your first Henley Regatta?'

Cool Kid.

"Does this hat say 'cosmic terror beyond mortal sanity?'"

"It's so drapey—should I get something with a crisper line?"

Cows From The Streets

Shirt Maker.

'You're going to school dressed like that? I can hardly see your underwear!'