Black Belt Dreamers Pillows

They had always thought you had to be a karate master to get a black belt. Then one day, they discovered it was the other way around.

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'This is rodeo history! No one's ever stayed on the Dancing Bronco this long!'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You may now kick the bride.'

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

I disturbed the class by talking in my sleep.

'I suppose this means I'll have to find someone else to practice my karate on.'

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

A giant diamond hurtles through space toward a population of very conflicted women.

Martial arts and clumsiness.

Goldie.

I love Kung Fu.

Green Belt

Jack Russell fails to make the cut for a basketball team.

The Five Major Rule Changes in Major League Baseball.

The Karate Master

'My husband wants to see your most expensive diamonds.'

"I think I'm getting the hang of it now!"

Celebrity anagrams: I'm a rock child me (Answer: Charlie Dimmock)

'I think I just invented 'Rock 'n Roll'.'

"... That's all very well. But, do you have any conclusive proof that you've discovered the secret of invisibility?"

'The first move you must learn, is how to open your wallet and pay for your lessons.'

'And these are my five little trilobites - all boys, all petrol-heads. One day their dreams will come true.'

Devil Uses Halo for Hoop

"To be a martial artist, one must be at peace with oneself. You must have dexterity! You must have flexibility! And you must believe in the impossible."

Truth be told, Stanley didn't even like basketball, despite always being picked first.

"Would it have killed him to put in a basketball hoop?!"

'...Because of his size, we want to give him time to develop.'

Joe posthumously advances to the next rank...

Gnashville.

Two identical twins walk towards karate classes, one wearing '1st Dan' the second '2nd Dan'.