Black Belt Achiever Pillows

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Ninja bread men"

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You may now kick the bride.'

'I wish I was creative'

Old Karate Master

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

"But seriously, medal of honor from the Academy of Sciences aside, who are you?"

'Congratulations on winning Weather Forecaster of the Year, you rotten swine!'

Physicist in restaurant.

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

'I suppose this means I'll have to find someone else to practice my karate on.'

Martial arts and clumsiness.

Bernard Hinault

Close... but no Degas.

Employee of the Month - male.

'And this one is for getting them to every one of their practice sessions in the 2008 season.'

' Don't you think your taking this exercise wheel a bittoo seriously?'

The Sales Assistants Ruined Chance to Dazzle.

Green Belt

I love Kung Fu.

The Karate Master

"His acceptance speech was only 140 characterslong."

"I think I'm getting the hang of it now!"

Man attempting to karate chop a pile of bricks cheats by tying a brick to his hand

"Since I deeply value recognition, I'm honored to present this 'Outstanding Effort' award to what's-his-name here."

Tyrone Mings

'The first move you must learn, is how to open your wallet and pay for your lessons.'

"To be a martial artist, one must be at peace with oneself. You must have dexterity! You must have flexibility! And you must believe in the impossible."

Blazing Volleyball