Black Belt Dreamer Pillows

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

The Karate Master

Karate club. Sign on door reads 'Gone to punch'.

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Elvis Presley

'This is rodeo history! No one's ever stayed on the Dancing Bronco this long!'

'You may now kick the bride.'

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Steve Howe.

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

Midnight Basketball

Baseball Dreams

I disturbed the class by talking in my sleep.

Not The Real Me

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

'I suppose this means I'll have to find someone else to practice my karate on.'

Pink Floyd.

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

Martial arts and clumsiness.

"Our band is called 'Paper'. We'll be covering some rock for you this evening."

'Choked on his own vomit. I wonder how many points you get for that.'

"He calls himself 'The Hedge!'"

'There was a time when I considered making myself available for the NBA draft. But one day I realized, hey - I'm a slug! I don't have an athletic bone in my body!'

Wordplay: Mind Games.

'When do I learn to read and sign a huge NFL contract?'

'Which one's Ringo?'

"Gus... you'll have to learn another chord."

'It's OK if you want to live your sports dreams vicariously through your son, Mr. Wagner. But you'll have to do it from the bleachers.'

Midnight in Minnesota

Eric Clapton

How to think and act like a professional cricketer.