Black Belt Dreamers Gifts

They had always thought you had to be a karate master to get a black belt. Then one day, they discovered it was the other way around.

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'This is rodeo history! No one's ever stayed on the Dancing Bronco this long!'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You may now kick the bride.'

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

I disturbed the class by talking in my sleep.

'I suppose this means I'll have to find someone else to practice my karate on.'

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

A giant diamond hurtles through space toward a population of very conflicted women.

Martial arts and clumsiness.

'Whoa! Really? You offer a full refund on any engagement ring for up to two years?! Very cool!'

Goldie.

The Karate Master

I love Kung Fu.

Green Belt

"Dang! This guy's good!"

The Five Major Rule Changes in Major League Baseball.

Jack Russell fails to make the cut for a basketball team.

'My husband wants to see your most expensive diamonds.'

"I think I'm getting the hang of it now!"

'I think I just invented 'Rock 'n Roll'.'

Celebrity anagrams: I'm a rock child me (Answer: Charlie Dimmock)

Devil Uses Halo for Hoop

"Would it have killed him to put in a basketball hoop?!"

Truth be told, Stanley didn't even like basketball, despite always being picked first.

"... That's all very well. But, do you have any conclusive proof that you've discovered the secret of invisibility?"

"To be a martial artist, one must be at peace with oneself. You must have dexterity! You must have flexibility! And you must believe in the impossible."

'The first move you must learn, is how to open your wallet and pay for your lessons.'

'And these are my five little trilobites - all boys, all petrol-heads. One day their dreams will come true.'

'...Because of his size, we want to give him time to develop.'

Two identical twins walk towards karate classes, one wearing '1st Dan' the second '2nd Dan'.

Gnashville.

For parents of twins, disciplining starts much earlier.