Achieving Black Belt Gifts

"To be a martial artist, one must be at peace with oneself. You must have dexterity! You must have flexibility! And you must believe in the impossible."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Ninja bread men"

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You may now kick the bride.'

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Old Karate Master

'Please enter your pin now.'

An Old-Timer/An Old Codger/An Old Geezer

'I suppose this means I'll have to find someone else to practice my karate on.'

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

Martial arts and clumsiness.

The Sales Assistants Ruined Chance to Dazzle.

"Dang! This guy's good!"

Green Belt

The Karate Master

I love Kung Fu.

"I think I'm getting the hang of it now!"

"Well, it certainly sounds like he made the most of his final moments."

How Fatherhood Affects Belt Height: Father/Grandfather/Great Grandfather.

Man attempting to karate chop a pile of bricks cheats by tying a brick to his hand

'Another bullseye! What do you think of black poweder guns now, Ben?'

"Cool ship, but how's it even going to fit in the lane?"

'The first move you must learn, is how to open your wallet and pay for your lessons.'

Suddenly Evander realized why his Championship belt had felt so tight that morning,

Two identical twins walk towards karate classes, one wearing '1st Dan' the second '2nd Dan'.

"Good news. The pain in your chest wasn't a heart attack. It was your belt buckle."

They had always thought you had to be a karate master to get a black belt. Then one day, they discovered it was the other way around.

Joe posthumously advances to the next rank...

"Hey! Black really is slimming."

Trousers. 'My trousers are higher than YOURS'

"When I first met Ted he always wore black so I assumed he was an artist. He was a priest."

'You have the right to wear a belt. If you cannot afford a belt, one will be given to you.'

'How easy is it to get a belt ?'

Karate Class Clown