Bistro Manager T-Shirts

'Our Monday night '90-off wine night' isn't exactly working wonders for Tuesday thru Saturday.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Selling lemon latt�

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"You owe me five bucks."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"