Restaurant Manager T-Shirts

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"We're not a seafood restaurant -- this building has a pretty severe lobster infestation."

"Excuse me, we're out of water."

"Is there anyone here who specializes in stress management?"

"Can I bring you something else to complain about?"

'Hi, my name's Krystyn, and I'll be the nutritionist liaison to your waiter tonight.'

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'Excuse me, could everyone be quiet, I'm trying to talk on my cellphone.'

"It's a good idea to tip first. That way I know what level of service you expect."

"Sorry folks-it's not what you ordered, but everyone is getting fettucine until we fix the computer."

'Sorry, smile's off...'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Which wine will go well with a limited expense account?

'Easily annoyed by nearby texting guests or not easily annoyed by nearby texting guests.'

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

"Waiter, I'd like to order, unless I've eaten, in which case bring me the check."

'At prices like this I bet you don't get many customers in here.' - 'At prices like this we don't need many.'

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'I ordered an aperitif not a pair of teeth.'

"Hello, my name is Roberto, and I will be your enabler this evening."

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

The wine and water lists.

'The food is terrible! I won't eat it! Get the Manager!'

'And how would you like your porridge, too hot, too cold, or just right?'

"I'll have the Catch of the Day."

'Excuse me, but is there anywhere we can get something to eat while we're waiting to get something to eat?'

Man about to empty his tray into a bin labelled: 'Feedback'.

'The health department will be here any minute. Get rid of all the salmonella back there.'

"Would the gentleman prefer an antidepressant?"

'Wow, they really baby you here!'

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"We're sort of open."