Bistro Lover T-Shirts

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Welcome Spring.

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Full English Breakfast.

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

'Ahhhh?I love the smell of a staff meeting in the morning!'

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

All-Day Breakfast

"So why do you need a ladder to make pancakes?"

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"I'd like to toast our guests."

The pig that had a glimpse of the afterlife.

Corner Bakery ... Bread and Breakfast.

Where Deviled Eggs come from

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

"Apparently the wee pancake by itself had been breakfast."

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

'Mmm...Smells like waffles!'

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

Choice hellhole