Bistro Lover T-Shirts

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Welcome Spring.

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

Full English Breakfast.

'Ahhhh?I love the smell of a staff meeting in the morning!'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"So why do you need a ladder to make pancakes?"

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

All-Day Breakfast

"I'd like to toast our guests."

The pig that had a glimpse of the afterlife.

Where Deviled Eggs come from

Corner Bakery ... Bread and Breakfast.

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

"Apparently the wee pancake by itself had been breakfast."

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

'Mmm...Smells like waffles!'

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

Choice hellhole