Bistro Manager Pillows

'Our Monday night '90-off wine night' isn't exactly working wonders for Tuesday thru Saturday.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Counting ribs

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Selling lemon latt�

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"You owe me five bucks."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."