Restaurant Managers Pillows

'Tell him we're just having the soup and salad.'

"Great. We're dying to get rid of that."

"All the world’s a stage, and we merely the actors/waiters."

"There's been a terrible mistake!!"

"We'll start with the dessert menu."

The entrées were $30 each. The extra $15 is for all that damn fresh pepper you made me grind!

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Counting ribs

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Fast food. Even faster food

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'