Birthing Myth Enthusiast Pillows

'What? Didn't your parents ever tell you who delivers babies???'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

Uterus: One size fits all.

In the club.

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.

"...We said a natural birth, not a naturist birth!"

"I trust I don't get them mixed up. The midwife will be weraing a badge. Mum will be wearing a sigh of relief."

Womb for Kids

"Everyone's waiting to have babies, so I had to pick up a side gig."

Stork and baby

"Yeah, those first few minutes...nothing but a lot of slap and tickle!"

Ingredients: me

'Sign here.'

"A stranger is about to come into your life!"

"Tell me again, how when I was born, how you passed out and the doctors left Mommy alone to revive you."

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

'I've had so many caesareans, I've got a zip.'

Chicken just laid huge egg.

'For the last time...turn that light off and go to sleep!'

"I'm your midwife... the others are just some people I've sold tickets to."

Though initially enthusiastic about natural childbirth, the Millers felt their midwives took the concept too far.

Pediatric Unit - Portraint of founder - A Stork

'Sorry to break it to you folks, but someone at headquarters was throwing out some bathwater and...well...'

'Would the father like to gnaw through the umbilical cord?'

Ho jo to ho ho ho

"Oh, look, they're having a fight!"

"...And this is my birth partner."

Stork with a baby

'Then the real world dumbs it out of us.'

"This must be my transition team."