Baby Myth Debunker Pillows

'Sorry to break it to you folks, but someone at headquarters was throwing out some bathwater and...well...'

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

Your heart is doing well with the pig valve we put in. Now, what was your question?

Well, there you go. I guess it isn't "Feed a cold, starve a fever."

The Lemmings of Montauk

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

"For decades we lemmings have been jumping off cliffs. Dude, it's time to evolve!"

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

'Well, so much for that theory!'

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

"In science class, we learned that a solar eclipse is not due to a rolling blackout."

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

'Of course I've done something about Lady Godiva -- I had security cameras installed all over town!'

It happened on Christmas Eve

"Do I still believe in Santa Claus? I don't even believe in Congress."

'What? Didn't your parents ever tell you who delivers babies???'

"Say, Buddy. . . do you pick-ups as well?"

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

Tall stories

'Sign here.'

'There are those who say that in America the streets are paved with excrement.'

'Try not to get into any more mischief '

'I did create man in my image, but man evolved.'

Do you realise the gravity of this situation?

The real costs of alternative facts!!

Hypochondriac at two computers. One reads 'Internet diagnosis', other says 'Second opinion'.

"This time can the tooth fairy please just venmo me?"

"You know if I've been naughty or nice? Do you have my phone tapped?

"So Carruthers!...it wasn't a legend after all!"

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

"I've searched every book, also the Internet, so in desperation...I've come to you, doctor!"

Press reports suggest that caffeine could provide protection against a range of cancers.

Pediatric Unit - Portraint of founder - A Stork

"So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds."