Baby Myth Enthusiast Pillows

'Sign here.'

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Baby has used blocks to spell out 'SO VERY BORED'.

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Maternity Ward

'How many fingers do you see?'

Uterus: One size fits all.

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Bouncing baby

Giving Birth

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

Maternity Hospital

'We got Spot and Fluffy when it rained cats and dogs. You came in a baby shower.'

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'

Newborn making the V-sign

"She's pretty smart. She already knows enough to spit out vegetables."

"It's from HQ, they're replacing me with a younger man!"

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'