Childhood Myth Enthusiast Pillows

'Any chance of getting a financial advance on my loose tooth?'

California Tooth fairy: 'IOU'.

"You know if I've been naughty or nice? Do you have my phone tapped?

"Old age is tough. Granddad lost a tooth but instead of money from the tooth fairy all he got was a bill from the dentist."

Shepherd and eurydice

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Couple looking at the statue of Eros by moonlight.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

Vlad the Impala

Venus

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Here be dragons.

Lady of the bath...

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

Archimedes helps Sisyphus

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Wotan with eye patch

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

Neptune

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Warrior Woman

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

A surprise in heaven

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

Trojan Hurdler.

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"