Debunking Myths Pillows

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

"It's a hoax!!!!"

The real costs of alternative facts!!

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

Your heart is doing well with the pig valve we put in. Now, what was your question?

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

The Lemmings of Montauk

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

"For decades we lemmings have been jumping off cliffs. Dude, it's time to evolve!"

'How can anyone seriously believe that we sleep standing up and with our eyes open ,,,, Hello'

"My new day job is killing me."

"Well the good news is that everything was supposed to be bad for you is actually good, but the bad news is that everything that you thought was good for you is actually bad."

'Of course I've done something about Lady Godiva -- I had security cameras installed all over town!'

"Do I still believe in Santa Claus? I don't even believe in Congress."

"If only you knew. . ."

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

'Sorry I'm late, miss. My alarm clock overslept.'

'We'll soon know whether or not the Easter rabbit is real.'

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

"Say, Buddy. . . do you pick-ups as well?"

"Look, Phil, I can see your shadow!"

"I don’t care what you read on social media, I cannot prescribe chocolate mini eggs to help with your weight loss!"

Tall stories

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

'There are those who say that in America the streets are paved with excrement.'

'Try not to get into any more mischief '

Do you realise the gravity of this situation?

'I did create man in my image, but man evolved.'

Rise of the Drones

"I'll have an extra large conspiracy burger with anti-semitism, plenty of racism, stupidity and a load of crap."

"It's all marketing - no one actually wears that stuff."

Hypochondriac at two computers. One reads 'Internet diagnosis', other says 'Second opinion'.

'The Easter bunny doesn't come down the chimney. He hides his eggs in the backyard.'