Birthday Mishap Pillows

"Today's my dad's 90th birthday. I got him a cake. I used 90 candles to spell out 'Happy 90th Birthday from your goof-up son who can't ever do anything right. I organized the whole party. And what do you think of me, Pop?'...The candles flared up and burned his house down..."

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

'ANYTHING to get down the ruddy boozer!'

Cat makes a dog pound cake with dog cather inside.

The Birthday Mafia Sends a message.

"You know I hate birthdays!"

'As it's your birthday, I think I'll have a pudding.'

Knights

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

Extreme Birthdays.

'I was not expecting this, were you?'

"Then maybe you should just tell me what you want for your birthday instead of saying you don't care."

'That's so I wont forget my wife's birthday.'

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

'Rurgh!!' - 'Burp!' - 'Form an orderly queue, ladies!'

'I don't think he'll be having a party next year - I heard his mother scream 'Never again'.'

Dad, how come mom locked herself in the bathroom with a bottle of vodka?

Happy Birthday

How to avoid a heart attack.

"Ok, doll! When you hear the last note of Happy Birthday, jump out of the cake and run like hell!"

"After 40, the body has a mind of its own."

"I said, 'Make a WISH'...not a whiz."

'That burning sensation is just a nasty case of hemorrhoidal flare-up.'

'Thanks, it's just what I wanted...Thanks, it's just what I wanted...'

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'

'No, no...I meant, cut the CAKE!'

"Aw, geez. I wanted a whitewall."

"Did someone forget to invite Dwayne?"

This just in! My dad's doing flowers for a giant sweet 16 party. And�it's someone in our grade. Awesome. If we can figure out who it is, we can wangle invitations. Umm. Gotta go! Good luck with that, Twig. Who put the "sweet" in "sweet 16"?

Zombie Birthdays.

Traveller's Luggage.