Birthday Mishap Prints

"Today's my dad's 90th birthday. I got him a cake. I used 90 candles to spell out 'Happy 90th Birthday from your goof-up son who can't ever do anything right. I organized the whole party. And what do you think of me, Pop?'...The candles flared up and burned his house down..."

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

'ANYTHING to get down the ruddy boozer!'

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

"You know I hate birthdays!"

'As it's your birthday, I think I'll have a pudding.'

Knights

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

"Then maybe you should just tell me what you want for your birthday instead of saying you don't care."

'I was not expecting this, were you?'

'That's so I wont forget my wife's birthday.'

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

'Rurgh!!' - 'Burp!' - 'Form an orderly queue, ladies!'

'I don't think he'll be having a party next year - I heard his mother scream 'Never again'.'

"Ok, doll! When you hear the last note of Happy Birthday, jump out of the cake and run like hell!"

How to avoid a heart attack.

Happy Birthday

Dad, how come mom locked herself in the bathroom with a bottle of vodka?

"Aw, geez. I wanted a whitewall."

"Did someone forget to invite Dwayne?"

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'

Traveller's Luggage.

'Something past its best - it's for her fiftieth birthday.'