Birthday Comedian Gifts

"OK, you can have another spin - but only 'cause it's your birthday."

'Dad, I can't find any matches to light the cake.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"I'm here for the hair."

'ANYTHING to get down the ruddy boozer!'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

Happy Bifurcation Day,

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

A Real Pinata Surprise

"This birthday qualified him to be tapped as a fossil fuel reserve."

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'I wish I could look just like Elvis.'

"It's like every year my fear gets a little worse."

'Hello, my name is Death'

"Meanwhile at Oak Vista Rest Home... In case of birthday cake fire break glass."

I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

The first birthday gift.

Life begins at 60

Happy Birthday!

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

"Have you noticed, after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF?"

"He hit the big 60 today, and now he's just drooping around the house, convinced that he can hear his arteries hardening."

'I must be getting older, the cards joking about my age just don't seem as funny anymore'

Alien Birthdays...

"All I got was a cake and a card."

Handel sitting on a piano

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

"She just uses all that make-up to hide her age."

A drum covered in candles

'Born again birthdays don't count.'

'Why can't he just blow out the candles like everyone else?'

Happy birthday to you!