Birthday Celebrator In Denial Pillows

Fear of Ageing

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

Happy Bifurcation Day,

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

'I'd say you're a little late...'

The Birthday Mafia Sends a message.

"You know I hate birthdays!"

Cat makes a dog pound cake with dog cather inside.

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

Knights

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

'If there was one thing Methusela hated. It was his Birthday bumps.

I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to

The first birthday gift.

"Then maybe you should just tell me what you want for your birthday instead of saying you don't care."

Birthday cakes on porch on hot day

"Meanwhile at Oak Vista Rest Home... In case of birthday cake fire break glass."

'That does it! I've had it with that nincompoop! Every time there's a birthday, he's the first to sign the card and he never leaves room for anyone else!'

Life begins at 60

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

The Big Bad Wolf Turns 50.

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

'That burning sensation is just a nasty case of hemorrhoidal flare-up.'

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

A drum covered in candles

'I must be getting older, the cards joking about my age just don't seem as funny anymore'

Man holding a birthday cake.

"I said, 'Make a WISH'...not a whiz."

"She just uses all that make-up to hide her age."

'Born again birthdays don't count.'

Alien Birthdays...