Birth Order Explorer Gifts

It's hard being the middle child.

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

"After the whole history of human evolution, you'd have thought a bigger birth canal would have developed!"

'Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?'

In the club.

'We've never had an accident - aside from three of our five kids.'

D-Day (Dad Day)

'There's no stigma in being brought up by apes - I was an adopted child too.'

"I didn't hear the full story, but you came from either the stork or ebay."

Are we going to raise her as a cat person or a dog person?

“It's a healthy baby boy. And, wow, the mouth on your wife …”

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

Womb for Kids

"Well, it certainly looks like your DNA. How many times have I told you to wear gloves before touching anything?"

'They're not reliable.'

"Which one's mine?!"

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I might find the colostrum?"

"Do you think he's taking this security blanket thing a bit too seriously?"

'Instead of a baby sister, Dear, Daddy and I will give you your choice between kitten or puppy.'

Baby boom expected due to corona

The surrendered mom

"The sitter's here, honey!"

Dr. Mary G. Wells Obstetrician. Open Labor Days.

'Well, he's the only boyfriend I didn't dump immediately. . . Stay on your toes, mister. The jury's still out.'

Kangaroo Pushing Buggy.

"That's right, fifty pounds and the pick of the litter."

"The Real Housewives of Real Households"

"Thanks for the birthday gift, but what will I do with a gift card to a toy store?"

"I'm getting a little tired of social media. He got mad at me so he said he is going to 'undad' me."

'Maybe I should explain...'

'I can't reach between my shoulders. I'm itchally frustrated.'

'I just retired from politics to spend more time with my children -- are you my children?'