Fertility Explorer Gifts

'...and this is our cheapest fertility treatment.'

"That's right, fifty pounds and the pick of the litter."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

Ascent of Machine.

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

'Hey weirdo, where do you think you're going?'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

A surprise in heaven

Evolution of man, starting at ameba through to computer

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"We evolved from asteroids"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Exit only.

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

ZOO

'AAAARGH!...Get it off! Whatever the hell it is...Get it off!'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

"Can you stop complaining about historical inaccuracy and try to enjoy yourself for one minute?"

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

'Look, Dad! -- I taught Shep to walk on his hind legs!'

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

The Origin of Creationism

Evolution.

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

"Conversation - what a concept!"

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'